WATCH: Things Chinese people say to foreigners

Do you know how to use chopsticks? How to say 'Thank you'? Also, where do you work, and how much do they pay you, and are you Russian? These are just a few of many, many questions that make up the laowai inquisition: the process embraced by taxi drivers and curious friends alike.

So why aren't you married yet? Why are you so fat (or skinny? or bearded?) The folks at Mamahuhu have nailed this one: anyone who has spent some time in the Mainland will quickly recognize most of these gems: and if you haven't been asked yet, fear not! Your time will come. (By the way, do you like KTV?)