Following the release of the unhinged-even-for-North-Korea official statement on the execution of Kim Jong-un's uncle Jang Sung-taek by official news agency KCNA, Boing Boing have created the 'North Korea Press Release Generator' so you can denounce traitors and capitalist stooges all day long.
Here is one we made denouncing our own editorial director, Mr Ned Kelly:
Loudmouthed Stooge Ned Kelly Condemned
PYONGYANG (KCNA) — With the people clamoring for justice, the organizing committee of the Supreme People’s Assembly announced that Ned Kelly will meet the serious punishment of history.
The era and history will eternally record and never forget the shuddering crimes committed by , the enemy of the party, revolution and people and heinous betrayer of the nation.
A decision of the special military tribunal of the Ministry of State Security of the DPRK will be read out at the trial.
Ned Kelly set up a secret organ under his control and took a fabulous amount of funds from a bank and purchased precious metals in disregard of the state law. thus committed such anti-state criminal acts as creating a great confusion in the financial management system of the state.
Ned Kelly instructed stooges to sell coal and other precious underground resources at random.
Ned Kelly is an incompetent and rude individual who is senseless and ignorant, does not know even elementary diplomatic etiquette and lacks diplomatic ability, and will be dealt a thousandfold retaliatory blow.
Ned Kelly let the decadent capitalist lifestyle find its way to our society by distributing all sorts of pornographic pictures among personal confidants. led a dissolute, depraved life, squandering money at every stop.
Ned Kelly instructed stooges to sell coal and other precious underground resources at random.
All facts go to clearly prove that is a thrice-cursed traitor without an equal in the world, who had desperately worked for years to destabilize and bring down the DPRK. The hateful and despicable nature of these anti-party, anti-state and unpopular crimes will be fully disclosed in the course of the trial. No matter how much water flows under the bridge and no matter how frequently a generation is replaced by new one, the lineage of Paektu will remain unchanged and irreplaceable.
No one in the world can stand in the way of the army and people who are advancing single-mindedly united around supreme leader Kim Jong Un under the banner of great Kimilsungism-Kimjongilism.
Wondering why North Korean press releases are so over the top? The BBC has an explainer.
[Image via Flickr]
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