Wow, Chinese prisons really skimp out on the hair dye

By Erik Crouch, June 12, 2015

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Former security czar and Politburo Standing Committee member Zhou Yongkang was sentenced to life in prison yesterday, on charges of bribery, abuse of power and leaking state secrets. And, from the looks of things, his expulsion from the Communist Party also revoked his weekly membership to the group's Just For Men refill service.

While in prison, the black-haired, scary Zhou Yongkang (above, left) made transformed into extremely-white-haired elderly Zhou (above, right). Members of the highest echelons of China's communist party always have two things in common - official portraits taken in front of white-blue gradient backdrops, and jet black hair. 

The latter, sometimes referred to as "politburo black," is (we assume) a mixture of shoe polish and tar that all high officials are required to run through their manes each morning.

It's the reason that China's leaders always look so sprightly - and it helps onlookers forget that some of these men are seriously old. The current standing committee features just one man younger than 60, and that's Li Keqiang (who, by the way, turns 60 next month - remember to send him a card!)

Zhou Yongkang was the oldest member of the committee at the time of his downfall - he's currently 72. But the other members are all pushing 70 themselves, so the CCP/Just For Men joint partnership had better stay strong, lest the great red beacon of the East become decidedly gray.

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