In a city of 24 million people, a typical day is filled with dozens of unexpected interpersonal interactions. While most are unremarkable, there are some – be it an instant attraction, an awkward meetup, or a random hookup – that are anything but ephemeral. This is a fleeting moment that's shared between two sentient beings that can only be described as fate. We don’t always get to say what we want in the blink of an instant, so this is an opportunity to give a shout-out to a special someone, recount a funny story or flaunt a hookup. These are this month's Missed Connections of Shanghai...
Gym Playmate
As part of my New Year’s resolution, I’ve been going to Crossfit every day, and I noticed you always go to class each morning at the same time. You’ve caught me sneaking a peak at you before, but I’ve been too nervous to say hello. Today we were finally matched up as partners, and when you introduced yourself with that sexy Spanish accent, I nearly lost it. As we laid on the ground next to each other, thrusting our hips into the air, all I could think about is that I already know how good you must be in bed based on the strength and endurance of those quads. I watched the beads of sweat glisten across your skin, and when the teacher had us arch our backs and reach our butts up into the air for a cat stretch, I truly felt like a feline in heat; this pussy needs her tomcat.
Seductive Stealer
I walked out of La Social on Friday night to see you sitting on my scooter, trying to put a key into the ignition. “Ummm that’s my scooter,” I said as I jogged over. You flushed bright red and hopped off. “I... saw you inside, you are a great dancer,” you replied, trying to ignore the fact that I had just seen you on my scooter. You looked super sexy though, so we started flirting, and eventually you gave me your WeChat – telling me to message you later – and a kiss before hopping on a Hello Bike and riding off into the night. I stood there in a haze, thinking of how quickly I had just picked up an attractive guy, when I realized that if you rode a Hello Bike home, you don’t even own a scooter that you could have confused with mine. I am still not fully sure if you were trying to steal mine, but I’ll give you a ride anytime, maybe to my place next time.
Seeing Double Sandwiches
Hungry AF, I walked to my neighborhood FamilyMart for some snacks. In the cold food section, I reached for a pre-wrapped sandwich, and so did someone else at the exact same time. “Sorry, you can go ahead…” I started to say, only to realize that I had just seen my own arm in the mirror lining the back of the open refrigerator unit, meaning I had just apologized to… myself. I really need to stop drinking in the middle of the day on a Tuesday.
Feeling Foxie at Roxie
You aren’t usually my type, but something about your perfectly symmetrical smile, your brown eyes and your overall carefree look really caught my attention. You bought me a drink and we chatted at the bar and then moved our way to the dancefloor where your moves intrigued me further. Finally, you asked for my WeChat, but the night ended there. I’ve never gone home with a girl before, and I don’t think my boyfriend would approve.
Cold Weather Cock Block
While drinking at Pudao Wines, I noticed you reading a book while enjoying a glass of Anjou Chenin Blanc. We made eye contact a few times, but I ended up having to head out before summoning the courage to say hi. I sat down on my scooter outside of Shankang Li to put on my winter cap and gloves, and I saw you pull out in front of me on your scooter. You were wearing a big, black winter hat, the kind where there’s only a small slit for your eyes – which is really only appropriate when skiing in the Arctic or robbing someone’s house – but I recognized those blue eyes instantly. You faltered for a second, as if you wanted to say something to me but couldn’t through the thickness of your hat, and the awkwardness of looking like you were swaddled in your scooter blanket, winter coat, gloves, hat, and scarf. Instead, you paused a bit longer, holding eye contact, then drove off in a flurry of fabric.
Free Flow Floozy
At the Social Supply Après Ski Event at Tomatito last weekend, we were assigned seats next to each other. You looked so cute in your ski outfit, and your bubbly energy coupled with cheers-ing everyone in sight was infectious… until I realized you were downing every drink put in front of you. Seven drinks later, we were only on the second course of the night and you were wobbling like a bobblehead. You kept putting your arms around me, whispering in my ear how cute you thought I was. By the fourth course, you were on a different planet, and your friend decided to take you home. Despite my pleas not to leave, you left before I could grab your WeChat. I would love to take you out for a drink, but maybe we go somewhere that doesn’t involve free flow alcohol next time.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Shopping
I spotted you standing in line to pay at Aldi and caught your eye for a second before you looked away. After checking you out for a while, I noticed you stiffened weirdly for a second and then relaxed. About three seconds later, the foulest smell filled the air – the true definition of “silent but deadly.” I would check out that ass all day, but you should really visit a doctor first to sort out whatever is going on inside of it.
Biking Blunder
I was riding my bike along Changle Lu, when out of nowhere, a car totally cut me off, I skidded forward onto the curb and hit my front tire against a street sign. You pulled your car over immediately, jumped out and ran over to make sure I was ok. I felt your strong arms around my waist, pulling me onto my feet, and when I saw how good looking you are, I was at a total loss for words. In a daze from both the crash and your sexy body, you left me with your phone number scrawled across a piece of paper and made me promise to call you with the costs of any repair bills or hospital bills. I plan to call it, but instead of fixing up my bike, would you want to grab a drink?
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Tune in next month to find out if your missed connection is looking for you too!
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