Dear Jamie is a regular series where our readers seek advice from Jamie, a Guangdong-based life coach.
Dear Jamie,
I’m an overseas Chinese man who was born and raised in Los Angeles and moved back to China only two years ago. I now live in Huizhou with my wife, whose family all live together with us, and we are currently expecting our first child.
It is an exciting time to say the least, but there is one minor issue: my wife’s family is very traditional and are insisting that she not wash for a full month following our child’s birth. I find this extremely repulsive and have broached the subject with my wife, who has repeatedly shut me down.
I need to make it clear to her that not showering for a month is not an option and that I don’t want to share a bed with someone actively accumulating a month’s worth of BO. What should I do?
– Repulsed in Huizhou
Dear Repulsed,
It’s a clash of cultures, a battle of the baths! You, sir, might be sh*t out of luck: your wife’s body ultimately belongs to her, and as such, you really can’t force her to shower if she doesn’t want to.
When your child is born, your wife will’ve been carrying said child inside her body for nine (give or take) months and if she doesn’t want to shower I’d recommend sucking it up and supporting her decision.
I realize this is probably not the answer you were looking for, so I’ll offer another suggestion: maybe try and compromise with her. Instead of insisting she shower, maybe point out that many Chinese women nowadays refrain from washing their hair during the post-partum month, while still washing their bodies. Just a thought, and congrats on the little one!
– Jamie
Smells a-brewing and trouble a-stewing? Email Jamieinchina@outlook.com.
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[Image via Andrew Magill h/t Flickr]
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