Dear Jamie is a regular series where our readers seek advice from Jamie, a Guangdong-based life coach.
Dear Jamie,
I’ve been teaching English in the PRD for over a year now, and in the last few months I’ve been sleeping with the single mother of one of my students. It was good fun at first, but now I’m in too deep and I need to break it off. I teach her son at their home, so simply avoiding her isn’t an option.
I’m worried that when I end things, she might cause problems for me. She is friends with the parents of all my other students, so she may get me in trouble with them too. This lady has a fiery side and I’m scared to be on the receiving end.
I can’t afford to lose any work because I need all the money I can get. How can I end this relationship without putting my job and reputation at risk?
–Gutless in Guangdong
Dear Gutless,
You, sir, are a bad bunny. In English there’s a saying about sleeping areas and bathroom habits – the Chinese equivalent? ‘A good rabbit doesn’t eat the grass around its burrow.’ Yet here you are with a tale of eaten grass, exposed holes and a question about how to not ‘risk your reputation.’ Sorry, but that boat set sail the moment you crossed the line from Tommy’s pedagogue to mommy’s plaything.
Don’t overreact. Fiery side or not, it’s unlikely this woman plans to run hand-in-hand into the sunset with you. Stop teaching the student at home and avoid any alone time with the woman, if possible.
If she doesn’t get the message, you may have to be more direct – how she reacts is up to her.
–Jamie
Got a problem? Jamieinchina@outlook.com.
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