Stories titled 'My Idiot Coworker' have been tearing up the China forum on Reddit over the past few weeks, with the latest story topping them all. And topping Reddit's China forum, for that matter. With more than 2,500 'upvotes,' the story, written by an apparent Shenzhen ESL training center teacher, is the most upvoted post ever on the forum.
'Upvotes' are like real votes, except they matter. And they help determine how prominent a story is on Reddit.
This story starts with a classic summary of said coworker James' personality.
James has nothing to do. He spends most of his day looking at his phone, pea-cocking around the office and theatrically napping sans shoes.
Then, as in the other stories, James–unfortunately–gets an idea about how to improve the training center.
One day, maybe we were visited by the police or James saw something on his phone or a stray thought became attached to his brain.
A decree from on high was issued. It was officially issued, on letterhead, with a chop, that is jealously guarded by our boss, who is also an idiot.
Fire drill.
James' antics would be funny, if he wasn't your coworker with the boss' ear and also permission to suddenly evacuate the training center without explaining the situation to the students.
James runs to all the rooms yelling in blood curdling fury “FIRE! GET OUT! FIRE, FIRE! “ Finally admonishing all to “JIA YOU”…"Come on" or directly, “Put oil on it.”
Sensing rampant stupidity, the students ask if they can bring their stuff and go home after. The foreign teacher dutifully, and with full earnestness, shrugs his shoulders and say he has no idea.
We trundle down a f*cked up staircase uneventfully to the basketball court where James, imperially greets his subjects. He has procured a stopwatch and proceeds to misread it. “It has taken you 217 hours, I mean minutes to save yourselves.” He means seconds.
To drill home the point that fire is not a joke, James, of course, lights a huge fire...
James presents a pile of formerly discarded building materials. Two by fours of various lengths, blocks of wood and what I assume is asbestos. James also has a clear, viscous liquid; a fire starter of some sort. He generously applies it.
...without a way to put it out.
James produces a dust covered fire extinguisher that was formerly in the hallway. He says that we are to point the extinguisher at the base of the fire.
He attempts to demonstrate, but nothing happens. He says that the extinguisher is too old and doesn’t work. He is told to remove the pin on the side. He cannot. He begins to read the instructions.
The fire rages.
The fire is now quite large. The smoke is blinding and the students are complaining.
James decides that we should all return to our classrooms. The fire is still going.
An hour later we see James talking to police.
Contacted by That's, the author says it's all true. Read the full story here.
READ MORE: This ESL Teacher's Work Stories Will Make You Cringe
Click here to read more outragious 'Tales from the Training Center.'
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