Finally, a horoscope that understands your life in China.
Virgo
8.24-9.23
With Mercury in Virgo for most of September, this could be a great time to get out and try something new, even if it’s just something simple like Subway’s avocado-filled nuggets.
Libra
9.24-10.23
Stop outsourcing your work to your WeChat groups. Sure, your friends are happy to help, but when you’ve been asking for ideas to pitch to your boss for the tenth consecutive month, that’s on you.
Scorpio
10.24-11.22
Apartment smelling funky and you can’t find the source? It’s time for a deep clean and, while you’re at it, call over a fengshui master and let them do what they do best.
Sagittarius
11.23-12.21
Even though you can go out and party with your friends, it doesn’t mean you always should. Take time to rest every now and then and maybe apply a face mask, and detox to give that liver of yours a rest.
Capricorn
12.22-1.20
Be prepared to lose something important this month. Yeah, we know, it sucks to hear, but you’ll learn from it and grow. Just keep an extra close eye on your phone, passport and wallet (for those who still carry cash).
Aquarius
1.21-2.19
Exciting changes will be happening this month! But just like the early years of the Obama administration, not everyone will be receptive.
Pisces
2.20-3.20
You’ve done your time quarantining and practiced social distancing like a pro athlete. With the NBA playoffs finishing around the end of this month, it’s only fitting to crown you the ‘COVID Champion.’
Aries
3.21-4.20
It may be time to start thinking about what your plan is after you leave China, if you’re a foreign national. While China is great, you don’t want to put your dreams on hold for too long if they don’t involve the Middle Kingdom.
Taurus
4.21-5.21
School is starting back up, which means all the Taurus teachers are getting ready for an eventful semester. Invest in a premium coffee maker or a Starbucks membership – you’re going to need it.
Gemini
5.22-6.21
September is looking like a boozy month for you, Gemini. With many new events expected to kick off, this means more excuses to drink. As for teetotalers, you just keep doing your thing.
Cancer
6.22-7.22
The Sichuanese restaurant you love across the road from your office shut down and has now been replaced by an overpriced noodle shop with tasteless mian. Leave them an honest review on Dianping and move on.
Leo
7.23-8.23
You’ve been hyper-focused on your grammar, as of late. Maybe it’s regret from not paying closer attention during primary school or, even more likely, your new job requires it.
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