Frozen Penises & Figure Skating Fails: Beijing 2022 in Numbers

By Ned Kelly, February 22, 2022

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Events took place across 15 disciplines, the highest ever, with big air freestyle skiing and women's monobob making their Olympic debuts as medal events, as well as several new mixed competitions.


Athletes competed at the Games, representing 91 teams.


Teams made their Winter Olympic debut: Haiti and Saudi Arabia.


World records were broken at the Beijing Olympics, including Dutch speedskater Ireen Wüst becoming the first athlete to win an individual gold medal at five Winter Olympics. She has won a total of 12 medals, including six gold, since her first Olympics in 2006.


Feet and four inches out of the halfpipe was the height of Japanese snowboarder Kaishu Hirano’s backside air trick, setting a new world record with a jump higher than a three-story house. Sadly, not only was it not even enough to earn him a place on the podium, but he was trumped by his older brother, Ayumu, who took gold in the competition with a jaw-dropping final run of his own.

Image via China Daily


Medals won by 18-year-old freeski superstar Eileen Gu at her first Winter Olympics, including two golds. Born in the US but competing for China, she became the first freestyle skier to earn three medals at a single Games; after a near-perfect final performance on the women's halfpipe, she even took a well-deserved victory lap.


Falls made by favorite Kamila Valieva in her free skate performance. The 15-year-old, who had found herself at the center of a doping scandal, struggled on a couple of other landings too, as the pressure got too much for the young Russian. Earlier in the Games – and before the scandal had erupted – she had become the first female skater to land a quadruple jump at the Olympics.


Quad jumps landed by American figure skater Nathan Chen, in a nearly five-minute performance to a medley of songs including Elton John's ‘Rocket Man.’ The skate of his career, it earned him gold, making up for a shocking loss at the 2018 Winter Olympics.


Athlete suffered from a frozen penis. “The pain was unbearable,” said Finnish cross-country skier Remi Lindholm, who, after competing in howling and freezing winds, needed a heat pack to thaw out his sensitive manhood.


Individually wrapped commemorative condoms found in each Olympic Village room. Meanwhile, athletes were instructed to minimize hugs, high-fives and handshakes due to COVID-19, with the condoms reframed as a souvenir. Losing athletes might not have returned home with a medal, but they’d always have their commemorative condoms! We wonder if Remi ‘Frozen Penis’ Lindholm will ever be able to use his…

Image via


Million Chinese viewers tuned into Beijing 2022 in the first week alone, making it the most watched Winter Olympics in history. Nearly 60% more minutes were also spent watching the Olympics through streaming services, indicative of changing global viewing habits.


Gold medals won by Norway, the most any country has won in a single Winter Games, placing them first in the medal table. They won 37 medals in total, also the highest of any nation.


Winter Olympics in a row Norway has now topped the table.


Where China placed on the table – with nine golds and a total of 15 medals – its most successful appearance at the Winter Olympics. 


The previous record for the most gold medals won by an Asian country at a single Winter Olympics, set by South Korea in 2006 and 2010. China’s nine golds just rewrote the record books.


Chinese athletes competed, its largest ever contingent.

Image via China Daily


Million Bing Dwen Dwen-related items were sold out during the final day of the Games, according to the official Olympic flagship store. The official mascot of the Winter Games, known in Chinese as 冰墩墩 (bing dun dun), has proved popular among the general public, as well as among those involved in the Games.


Podium sweeps by a nation: Germany won gold, silver and bronze in the two-man bobsleigh.


Years since traditional Winter Olympic powerhouse Canada last finished outside the top 10 in the medal table. Despite winning 26 medals, only four of them were gold, leaving them in 11th place. Being Canadian, we’re sure their athletes were quick to apologize.


Countries have won medals at every single Winter Olympics since its inception back in 1924: Austria, Canada, Finland, Norway, Sweden & USA.


Consecutive Olympics have now been hosted in East Asia.


City has now hosted both the Summer and Winter Olympics. Beijing jiayou!

[Cover image via]

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