Photos by Claire Zheng
We’ve been talking about the impending arrival of The Beast Kitchen for ages. The red canvas shroud heralding its imminent arrival and a conspicuous seven-month delay amidst never-ending construction has had us itching with anticipation. Finally, the moment has arrived for its unveiling.
Promising worldwide cuisines, The Beast Kitchen features 13 stalls in a food court setting. Chinese fare such as HK Guangdong Cuisine and The Chinese Taste appear to be leading the pack, with some Thai, Korean, Japanese and Italian options filling out the ranks. Gottlieber, a Swiss dessert house, has also set up shop, selling coffees, homemade ice cream and cakes.
But if you’re looking for casual, no-frills dining, you will be stumped. In addition to family-style tables and low leather sofas, this well-adorned enclosure features a nightly band and a fully stocked bar called Eightsome. Waitresses prance around in knee-high socks, short tartan skirts and vests, apparently an ode to the so-called Scottish theme. Forgive us, but with no pipes or haggis in sight, it’s hard to connect the dots.
The venue logo on the doors of the entrance is perplexing, to say the least: the head of a man (apparently the owner) crowns the body of a kilt-wearing, hip-thrusting female, who gleefully slings about a glass of red; alongside, a roaring lion with an oversized noggin tamely looks on. Swing away from this confounding design and you’ll notice the cashier’s counter, which seems almost redundant, since diners at The Beast Kitchen can opt for table service and order from an all-encompassing menu, replete with hilarious Chinglish translations.
Here, we’ve succinctly dissected each of the culinary offerings by representative, signature dishes.
Delicious Porridge
Signature: Rice noodle roll (RMB23)
Congee and rice roll lovers unite. This is the hub for all things soft and starchy. The fresh rice noodle roll, stuffed with prawns and chives, is over-salted, giving a sodium-infested aftertaste. Skip the sauce and keep this comfort food simple.
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Signature: Basil sauce shrimp pizza (RMB46)
This adventurous stall sells itself on its seemingly authentic pizza and pasta, with bizarre toppings and sauces. Heavy on the pesto, the basil sauce and shrimp features a biscuit-like crust. Avoid the rubbery prawn if possible.
Thai Good Taste
Signature: Tom yam goong with seafood (RMB58)
Given the overconfidence on display, this is a disappointing rendering of a classic dish which leaves a rancid aftertaste. The pineapple rice is too fruity and moist, with no depth of flavor.
Kogawa Japanese
Signatures: Fresh New Zealand oysters (RMB28), assorted sushi platter (RMB68)
The large, delicious oysters deliver on the fresh front, while the sushi platter is a tad dry, albeit attractive on the plate.
Brother Zhong Roasted Goose
Signature: Roasted goose (thigh)
Though this is a flavorsome version of a Cantonese favorite, it’s nothing to sing from the rooftops about. The menu also features other typical Guangdong fare, such as steamed chicken and char siu.
Jin Yuan Korean Barbecue
Signature: Marinated ribs (RMB98)
Our favorite of The Beast Kitchen bunch, the beef, although a tad fatty and greasy is well seasoned and cooked, served with grilled vegetables.
Sichuan Spicy Cuisine
Signature: Dry-fried green beans
With a smattering of Sichuan pepper, these delectable beans numb the palate with every bite, so have a cup of tea handy. A good choice, but dodge those little peppery buggers if you ‘pa la,’ as the Chinese say.
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