Youjin/ Yǒujìn / 友尽 phrase, “our friendship has ended”
A. How can you watch Harvey Weinstein films?
B. I like Shakespeare in Love.
A. But you are supporting an alleged rapist!
B. I can like his movies without endorsing his behaviors.
A. No you can’t. We are youjin. Don't call me ever again.
We live in a divided world, and China is no exception. Chinese modern life comes with any number of opportunities for us to disagree. Is milk powder good? Is Facebook bad? Is buying knockoffs on Taobao more ethical than shopping at H&M? Is ordering Sherpa's on a rainy day helping or harming the delivery men? Any position on any detail of modern life can invite attack and offend those around you, including those you call friends.
Sometimes such disagreements are so insurmountable that your friend might say: “I just can’t be friends with someone who holds such beliefs. We are youjin from now on.” Meaning: “Our friendship has ended.”
There are many brilliant poetic expressions of youjin on the Chinese Internet, from “now you’re just somebody I used to know” to “the fountain of our friendship has run dry.” But they all mean the same thing: you were friends until you ran up against some irreconcilable difference, which makes the friendship impossible and now you must end it. Besides political views, other things that are known for leading to youjin include: borrowing money, not liking your friends’ WeChat moments, setting up a WeChat group chat that doesn't include your friends and posting photos of your friends that haven't been beautified by Meitu Xiuxiu yet.
However, there is a more optimistic exception, where youjin means a new romantic relationship is about to start where an old friendship ended. (Think Monica and Chandler in Friends.) If someone declares youjin with you, it is possible that he or she simply has too many romantic feelings about you to remain friends. If that’s the case, you two are youjin no matter whether it works out or not.
But this happier version of youjin seems to happen to TV show characters way more than the rest of us. If someone claims they are youjin with you, it’s probably because of something like them refusing to eat gluten, while you don’t believe that’s a thing.
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