I am 25 years old and over 80 thousand yuan in debt. I started buying things on credit after graduating from university. I was working hard, but my salary was never that high, so each month I began to compensate by purchasing one or two luxuries I couldn't really afford. Additionally, all my friends and colleagues seemed to be enjoying these fabulous, enviable lifestyles - always uploading pictures onto social media - and I felt a great deal of pressure to fit in and keep up. My credit cards have now been suspended and I'm receiving threatening calls from lenders. I want to run away and start afresh. What should I do?
Young friend, this is a problem very common in your generation – a dilemma not only you, but one lots of young people find themselves trapped in.
‘To start afresh’ is a mantra much repeated. But the question is ‘how?’ To restart means you would be negating what you’ve accomplished, and accepting the fact you’ve failed the first life that you have started – this is crucial. For remember, it’s only possible for a new life to begin if your old one is abandoned.
Confucius focused on how to conduct oneself in society – to follow Li (礼), as stated in the Rites of Zhou, which ‘helps me to get on in life,’ as he put it (the Analects, Taibo 8). Zi Qin, a student of Confucius, once asked his son, ‘what have you learnt from Confucius?’ to which his son answered: ‘one does not speak without the knowledge of poetry; one does not live without the conduct of Li’ (the Analects, Jishi 16). And you, my friend, who wish to start afresh – how should you conduct yourself, and on what foundation should you build your life? This is the important question.
At present, there’s but one thing you can and must do: pay off your debt in the shortest time possible, as this is your responsibility and yours alone, and it concerns your credibility. ‘As a person, yet without credibility, how could one live?’ (the Analects, Weizheng 2). All considered, you must find closure to all that’s behind, be free of worries, pay off your debts. Then and only then, can you truly start afresh.
> Wang Xuejun is a lecturer at Beijing Language and Culture University, specializing in Chinese culture. His most recent book is entitled Teaching Methods of Chinese Language and Traditional Culture. Send your ethical dilemma for Professor Wang to bjeditor@urbanatomy.com
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