Finally a horoscope that understands your life in China.
Cancer
6.22-7.22
There are simply too many planets in your chart to make an accurate reading, and confusion will likely overtake your life this month. When in doubt, throw a ‘wo zhi dao’ at your problems and move on. Easy.
Leo
7.23-8.23
This month, Leos will be particularly good at locating the best shared bikes (in their designated parking spots, of course). Don’t let this inflate your already oversized ego – remember, it is only temporary.
Virgo
8.24-9.23
Venus governs your WeChat moments for the foreseeable future. Go with it and post all those food snaps you’ve been hoarding. Who doesn’t love another artsy picture of dumplings, are we right?
Libra
9.24-10.23
You’ve been debating doing something momentous for the past few weeks. Buy some prosperous cabbage, litter your home with lucky cats, gnaw on some auspicious bamboo and just get to it already.
Scorpio
10.24-11.22
Jupiter is screaming for Scorpios to flock to Sanlitun. Who ever said you were a quiet sign? Get up on that table, you crazy kid! Just be careful not to start any fights, well, because, you know.
Sagittarius
11.23-12.21
To alleviate the stress you’re feeling this month, invest in some welldeserved rest and relaxation. A hot and spicy knee-wrap treatment at the spa should do the trick.
Capricorn
12.22-1.20
You may be the object of an unwanted romantic advance this month. Eat as much stinky tofu as your sophisticated palate will allow and breathe through your mouth until August hits. Win!
Aquarius
1.21-2.19
It’s tough out there for an Aquarius these days. Practice extra caution this month. Fasten your seatbelt in every Didi you’re in, check the brakes on your Mobike, cower in the corner of subway cars and enter through the middle doors of buses.
Pisces
2.20-3.20
This Mercury retrograde is finally good for something – your future is looking bigger and brighter than ever. Hit up all your favorite Beijing hotspots and create some good times, laowai.
Aries
3.21-4.20
To alleviate the boredom that’s been plaguing you, try inventing a new game for your commute. So what if ‘follow the hutong cat’ didn’t work out so well for all involved – Didi karaoke, anyone?
Taurus
4.21-5.21
Your body is experiencing some changes this month. You constantly feel the desire to rid yourself of phlegm, your stomach is so hot you roll up your T-shirt and squatting back on your heels is the only thing that relaxes you. Whoa! You’re a Beijinger!
Gemini
5.22-6.21
Remember that film The Great Wall, starring Matt Damon? The stars have aligned and it is finally the right time for you to watch it and be able to understand the nuanced genius missed by viewers. (What ’White Savior‘ storyline? you ask.) You may also experience moments of delusion.
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