Dear Jamie is a regular series where our readers seek advice from Jamie, a Guangdong-based life coach.
Dear Jamie,
In Australia I had depression and I was an overweight loser. Since coming to China, I’ve lost half of my bodyweight and become very happy. Now I've traveled most of Asia.
I’m 26 and I don’t want to return to Australia because I won’t be able to find a good job, but I don’t have skills for a good job in China, either. I also feel like it's too late and too expensive to go back to university.
I wanted to find a rich Chinese husband and settle down, but even though I am – if I do say so myself – good looking: slim, blond and tall, I’m having trouble finding someone serious. My standards are low and I don’t care if he’s ugly or bangs other girls. I want him to provide me with financial security.
How can I change my sh*tty situation?
-Searching in Shanghai
Dear Searching,
The 1996 movie The First Wives Club is a delightful dramedy, powered by Bette Midler’s manic comic energy and penchant for a punch line. Trying to find a moneyed man that ‘bangs girls other girls,’ you’re well set up to join Midler’s club, except you’ll be the butt of the joke.
The tealeaves are clear. Years after entering a relationship because his bank account had enough zeros, you’ll wash down your morning Valium with a glass of cheap merlot, before looking again at the divorce papers you’re refusing to sign ‘because of the children.’
Then, you think back to your 20s when you were pretty, well traveled and capable. You huff on a cigarette as sadness fills you like so much smoke, and your every fiber screams: Why!? Why!? Why!?
Or not. You could just get your sh*t together. That means investing in yourself, whether that’s night classes or a job that will teach you new skills. It’s up to you.
-Jamie
Got a problem? Well you can just cry about it, or message Jamie at Jamieinchina@outlook.com.
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