That's Horoscopes: February 2020

By Bryan Grogan, February 4, 2020

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Finally, a horoscope that understands your life in China.


Aquarius

1.21-2.19

One of your nearest and dearest will pressure you into answering an impossible question: Which of the great eight cuisines is your favorite? Luckily, Venus, the planet of love, is in your corner and will imbue you with a gorgeous midwinter glow. Use that confidence to keep your secrets under wraps.


Pisces

2.20-3.20

The boundless Asian horizon is calling you towards that yoga retreat you have been following on Instagram for the past few months. Give into the temptation and take a few weeks away (far, far away) from work and the futility of the rat race.  


Aries

3.21-4.20

Your last business venture didn’t go too well. Who knew being a cat manicurist could be such a hazard. Take stock of your mistakes and ease yourself into the next effort. At the same time, don’t be afraid of your instincts; just don’t let them lead you astray.


Taurus

4.21-5.21

The cool group at your local HIIT session will hit you up (get it?) this month. They’ve noticed your impeccable squat form and want to invite you out for lunch. Jump at the chance and be your best, gorgeous, healthy self. 


Gemini

5.22-6.21

Chinese New Year means a nice long break from the teaching slog – made even longer by the coronavirus outbreak. Use this precious time to invest in new job opportunities and hobbies to expand your professional future. What else are you going to do with all that free time?


Cancer

6.22-7.22

Thanks to the quarantine, your favorite dumpling shop has closed and you don’t know what to do and who to tell. In public you are all smiles (underneath your mask, of course), but in your heart of hearts you know you’ll never find the same quality of xiaolongbao again.  


Leo

7.23-8.23

You are a fount of energy this month, little lion, and you’re thirsting for something to get your competitive juices flowing. Sign up for the mahjong competition at your local sports center (but don’t even think about playing outside) and you might just find your new favorite hobby.  


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Virgo

8.24-9.23

The festive season has worn you out. It’s time now to recalibrate and focus on having some fun (even during this quarantine). Whether your idea of a good time is taking a neighborhood stroll to get some fresh air or getting crunk at your apartment with a dusty bottle of baijiu on Saturday night, set aside time to indulge your happiness hormones.



Libra

9.24-10.23

Your professional life seems to have devolved in posting on Weibo every hour, on the hour. (Looks like working from home hasn’t been going as planned.) Quit seeking likes and reshares, and refocus on the fundamentals to see a marked improvement in your professional prospects.  


Scorpio

10.24-11.22

The middle of the month will see you embrace a new romance, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Don’t be afraid to be your fun-loving self in front of this new partner, but do avoid taking your date out to hot pot as things could get messy – order in instead. 



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Sagittarius

11.23-12.21

You have been ruminating on the idea of leaving China for years, but this Chinese New Year will give you renewed reason to leave. Don’t move too fast, talk to close friends and family and take time to meditate on your motivations in order to make the right decision. 


Capricorn

12.22-1.20

You’re considering a big face mask purchase on Taobao, but are unsure of the material quality and trustworthiness of the seller. Consult all WeChat groups before you make your decision to ensure you get bang for your buck. 


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