The United Kingdom goes to the polls on December 12, and while the general consensus that it is nothing more than picking which deluded narcissist is going to take the Great out of Britain and plunge the country into pre-Roman conquest levels of backwardness, five Shanghai residents are going to stand up in front of their compatriots and – with straight faces, presumably – claim that their chosen party is the one worth casting a ballot for.
That said, there is nothing the British respect more than courage in the face of adversity, and the pluck to take on insurmountable odds (stiff upper lip, and all that). So good luck to them, we say. Without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the advocates for BoJo the Clown, Comrade Corbyn, Jo Swizzle, Nicky Krankie and Nigel Gammon...
Mike Herd, SNP
"A vote for the SNP is a vote to protect Scotland's place in Europe and to strengthen our mandate to decide our own future. Furthermore, SNP will never prop up a Tory government and would keep a minority Labour government real Labour, vowing to never renew outdated Cold War relics like Trident and investing the billions saved for the greater good."
Tommy Peel, Liberal Democrats
"Bollocks to Brexit – Britain can make Europe MEGA (Make Europe Great Again)."
Will Scott, Labour
"Nationalized utilities and transport, free NHS at the point of use, free 'Communist' broadband and a kitten thrown in for good measure – for the many, not the few!"
Liam McManus, Brexit Party
"The establishment’s Brexit betrayal calls for a political revolution. Britannia wants her borders back, freedom of speech back and national pride back. Let’s put the Great back in Great Britain."
Giovanni Luigi Bordone, Conservatives
"We started the job, we are the most qualified to finish it."
Finally, a word from organizers Sammy Bowen and Harry Spencer of Brit Club:
"Whether or not you are British or politically motivated, this is a one-off event with some of Shanghai's sharpest political minds. Come and experience heated debate on the UK's upcoming election and join in with any questions you have."
Those questions will be screened on CCTV, no less, while the whole event will be streamed live by AFP. But there is nothing like the cut and thrust of live debate, so head along and enjoy the fireworks.
Dec 8, 7pm; RMB100 pre-sale, RMB150 on the door (scan the QR code below to purcahse). Cages.