Horoscopes: October 2022

By That's, October 13, 2022

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Finally, a horoscope that understands your life in China. 


Libra

9.24-10.23

 Venus will snuggle with the Sun in Libra to form a conjunction that has not happened in 150 years. Nobody alive today has lived through a period where Venus commanded this post in the heavens. Avoid excessive pragmatism and be open to the gifts of Venus: love, fun and beauty.


Scorpio

10.24-11.22

Use this time to find bliss in your relationships as Mars will enter retrograde on October 30 and will likely cause you to feel some anxiety and a loss of intimacy with your partner(s). This will similarly affect finances and projects with friends will seem to stall. Take this month to get organized and stabilized.


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Sagittarius

11.23-12.21

This is the time to learn new skills and develop new habits. Everybody gets a bit chunky during the winter months so don’t bother trying to diet until after Christmas. Improve yourself in more personal ways. At least you have something to change the subject to when your ayi and in-laws remind you how fat you’ve gotten.


Capricorn

12.22-1.20

Jupiter is in a challenging position to Capricorns until November. Imagine that you are sitting beside a morbidly obese person on an airplane — that’s Jupiter. They didn’t choose to impose on you, neither of you paid for seat selection. Just hang on, you’ll both be disembarking soon.


Aquarius

1.21-2.19

Now is the time for travel and cultural experiences. It’s been nearly three years since we became wary of traveling. This is a big country and it’s well worth exploring. Be hopeful that just enough people will refrain from visiting your destination and that the holiday lines will be manageable.


Pisces

2.20-3.20

Budget your money while Mercury is in retrograde. Remember that in China it's perfectly acceptable to wear the same outfit to work every day. Don't let your vanity burn through what little savings you've accumulated.


Aries

3.21-4.20

Your influence and leadership will come into play during the final months of 2022. However, look for more responsibility among your immediate professional or social circle. Nobody wants to watch your livestream, the stars don’t mean that kind of influencer.


Taurus

4.21-5.21

When was the last time you went to the dentist? What about the optometrist? The annual physical you do for your work permit is just a theatrical excuse to drug test you. It’s a wildly unscrupulous examination of your actual health. It’s time to start prioritizing your health.


Gemini

5.22-6.21

Now is the time to repair fractured relationships. Be humble and willing to apologize and you will see that broken bonds become whole again. This does not mean you should text your ex.


Cancer

6.22-7.22

Like your celestial spirit animal, Cancers have a hard outer shell. It takes others a long time to peek inside and see your mystical qualities. This generally results in people thinking your insane, insensitive and self-involved.


Leo

7.23-8.23

If you have a bit of extra cash then spend it on your attractiveness. There was no use wearing perfume or cologne during China’s hottest summer ever. Now that it’s cooling off, focus on looking good and smelling good.


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Virgo

8.24-9.23

Emphasize connection and socializing this month — and that doesn’t include your cats. It’s not going to tangibly improve anything in your life but October has nothing special on the horizon for you except smooth sailing in the friendship department.


See more That’s Horoscopes here.

[Cover image via That’s]


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