Collective WTF after Chinese media claim foreigners are all dying to live the China Dream

By Ryan Kilpatrick, May 8, 2015

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"Immigrating abroad isn't necessarily a good thing," an article published in the Chinese media yesterday claims. 

It's hard to argue with that point, and nor is the article wrong to point at some sides of Chinese life that are better than a lot of other countries. In a nation where the rich and powerful almost invariably move their money, families and - where possible - themselves abroad, however, "Did You Know How Much Foriegners Envy the Chinese Lifestyle?" has inspired biting criticism rather than national pride.

"You always hear people around you talking about those who have gone abroad and never returned, or how envious they are of the clean streets and how cars yield for pedestrians... But look! Now the tables have turned. In fact, many foreigners envy life in China! This is absolutely true!"

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There follows a whole slew of anecdotal evidence from hypothetical laowai telling the author how shitty Sweden/America/England is compared to the People's Republic of Serenity.

His Swedish buddy tells him how much safer China is than his country-sized death trap of a homeland and his British mate tells how how Chinese food is so much cheaper and better-tasting than back home (fair dues). Latin Americans all love Chinese hospitals and everyone thinks it's great how China wastes no time putting drug dealers in front of firing squads and has no time for intellectual property legislation, letting them watch pirated movies to their hearts' content.

The main target of the piece, however, is the USA. "It's a misunderstanding that Americans' quality of life is better than in China!" the article claims, pointing to soaring property prices (except in "black people areas") and "garbage food" that costs a fortune and will most likely give you colon cancer by suppertime.

Desperate Americans have even been known to bring packed lunches to work, since a decent meal will set you back USD40. "A slice of ham, a slice of a cheese and a slice of tomato between bread is a meal" to Americans, the article extols with a mix of pity and contempt.

How about public education? "Primary and secondary education is free in public schools," the author concedes, "but the problem is, you wouldn't dare take your children in there." It does not explain why.

Shockingly, this argument did not completely win over netizens, and the article has been inundated with incredulous comments:

I've been to a number of big American cities. The average income is about USD65,000 but meat, eggs, fruit and vegetables are all cheaper than in small Chinese counties, and property prices are lower than in second-tier Chinese cities. If the world outside China sucks so much how come officials and business people are always sending their wives and children abroad?

I'm really f***ing confused. If life in America is so bad why do people keep immigrating there?

Hey editor, what time is it? You must still be asleep dreaming. Hurry and wake up!

Foreigners want to come live in China because they know they'll be a big deal over here.

Editor, do you live on Mars?

Then why do so many rich people run off to live in America?

RELATED: Twice as many expats are leaving China than arriving

Touche, netizens.

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