Chinese urban dictionary is a monthly series where we give you snippets of language that you might just find useful.
By Mia Li
/ni jiali ren zhi dao ma?/ 你家里人知道吗？
How to use it:
A: Out of all the football players on the team, I was the best!
B: You are basically the new David Beckham. Does your family know?
A: Black Flag are the greatest band ever to live!
B: You’re so hardcore! Does your family know?
A: I hate people who don’t line up in the subway. I hate them so much I want to kill them!
B: Wow! You get angry quickly – or you are just passionate about queues. Does your family know?
phrase. Lit.: “Does your family know?” A phrase used to tease someone when they reveal a unique personality trait or quirk, often an embarrassing one, or one that a conservative parent might disapprove of.
One of the most striking characteristics of contemporary Chinese society is the collective generational disconnect. We are at a time when the 80s/90s generation has come of age and taken over the reigns from the 50s/60s generations. The gulf between the two societies in which they live and the opportunities presented to different generations is huge.
The younger might have gone to private schools while the older only got a standard state-sponsored education (which sometimes involved farming crops or pigs); the former may have read George Orwell in English at 16 while the latter were banned from reading western literature for decades; the younger have to look for a job while the older had a job assigned to them; the 80s/90s generation dated while the 50s/60s generation had their spouses arranged for them; the younger might have to stand out to get noticed for opportunities, while the latter might have been severely punished for simply being different.
The vastly different experiences make it almost impossible for the two generations to share any advice or wisdom. As a result, kids keep much of their lives, hopes, fears, tastes and predilections hidden from their parents, for fear of more alienation and the simple fact that their parents just won’t get it. In a way, each individual of the 80s/90s generation has something that they closet. Think an entire generation yet to out themselves to their parents.
When we identify a striking quality in someone, or an interesting thing that they do, we tease them by asking them: “you are so___, does your family know?” It loosely translates into (excuse the cliché): Do your parents know that their apple fell so incredibly far away from the tree?
Originating from douban.com, the tease is a popular response to any enthusiastic, emotional, or immodest remark. The pleasure of the tease comes from watching the person questioned have a moment of panic, when he/she mentally visualizes how their parents would react to such over-the-top emotions.
> Mia Li is a news reporter in Beijing by day; at night, she tries to turn that news into standup comedy.
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