Fresh from being sacked by Chinese second division club Shenzhen FC by poem (yes, by poem), former Guangzhou R&F and Shanghai SIPG (and England) football coach Sven-Goran Eriksson granted an interview to Expressen in his native Sweden.
We whipped it through Google translate, and discovered it was a non-stop stream of comedy gold.
Enjoy...
On the ladies...
"I hope people associate me with football, and what I've done there. But some think of the women when they hear my name. Unfortunately."
"It's true that I met a lot of women, but thats about it."
"For example, I was never unfaithful to Nancy because we were not married. That is the way I see it, but the English press don't think like that."
So you mean you've never cheated?
"Next question..."
Why do you think women fall for you?
"Money and status. Then you hope that there is something more too, but I do not know."
Who is the love of your life?
Svennis is silent for a while before the answer comes.
"Why can you not have more than one woman at the same time?"
And then a new silence.
"It's not a good answer, huh? But I fall in love so easily."
On the News of the World phone hacking...
"Had the News of The World not listened to my phone and read my texts [my womanizing] would have never come out, I'm sure."
You say that your relationships in England would have never become public unless you had been hacked. How many have you managed to keep secret?
"Most."
On the money in Chinese football...
"It's huge money in Chinese football. It may be the country I earned most in.
"Or was it in England..."
On living in Shenzhen...
"In Shenzen I lived in an apartment hotel. On the street below there were 120 restaurants. From my windows I had a view of Hong Kong on the other side of the water."
On Shanghai and hopes for a return to China...
"Living in Shanghai is like living in London, everything is there. I would love to return to China.
"Actually, it does not matter where I end up, I just want to get a job."
On Chinese food and not eating dog...
"Chinese food in China is something completely different. I liked the noodles best. I never ate dog... at least that I know of.
"The Chinese say they eat everything, but I do not know if that's right."
On death...
"I do not want to go lying down. It is better that it goes 'pang' and is over.
"But if you begin to think too much of death you are in trouble. So I usually avoid it."
On ironing shirts...
"I can wash and cook pasta. But iron shirts, no, I cannot. It seems difficult."
You can find the full interview, in Swedish, right here.
[Image via www.foxestalk.co.uk]
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