Finally a horoscope that understands your life in China.
Taurus
4.21-5.21
What’s that sound? Renovation season. QQ may not have followed Spotify’s horoscope trends, but we’ve got your ears covered. Anything by Mavi Phoenix will reflect your vengeful mood this month.
Gemini
5.22-6.21
May is one of China's best months for partying. Don’t let your ayi's disapproving stares get you down anymore – it's time for some serious outdoor day-drinking!
Cancer
6.22-7.22
Armed with your 150 HSK 1 Chinese, go forth and explore your city. There are hidden gems and interesting locals awaiting you.
Leo
7.23-8.23
Looking back at your WeChat Wallet statement made you realize how much you've been spending on cocktails and brunches. Save up by ordering in cheap Chinese takeout every day.
Virgo
8.24-9.23
Brunching every day is a thing, right? Use any upcoming free time to check out all the new restaurants.
Libra
9.24-10.23
Your long-term goals are just within reach. If you’re too short to grab them, a ladder on Taobao really isn’t that expensive (but beware the dangers of convenient online shopping).
Scorpio
10.24-11.22
There are big changes happening in your life this month, but good things are coming your way. Don’t forget to tap everything eight times to let the good luck in.
Sagittarius
11.23-12.21
In order to get out of your current rut, you must 'Marie Kondo' your digital life. Exit and delete all WeChat groups that haven't been active for more than two weeks.
Capricorn
12.22-1.20
Move over Mercury, this month Pluto is in retrograde. The uncontrollable cosmic powers that be have decided that you will no longer take no for an answer. Your Didi driver will drop you off right in front of your building.
Aquarius
1.21-2.19
Some of your friends might be leaving China this month. Get out and stock up on random WeChat contacts. Grab a cocktail at your favorite bar and discuss the flavors in depth with a stranger.
Pisces
2.20-3.20
If you’re feeling like you’re in retrograde this month, don’t forget that you have 411 Facebook friends and can occasionally access it to catch up with them. They miss you too.
Aries
3.21-4.20
Life has been getting you down for a while. If you’re feeling particularly low, try surprising your partner with an early-morning tickle attack. It will go better than you think.
0 User Comments