The Place
Stain: 1) to soil; 2) to damage or bring disgrace to (the reputation of someone or something)
Not exactly a moniker you want for a coffee shop. Well, unless it happens to be spot-on.
But let’s back up for a moment. As Guangzhou has grown more addicted to caffeine over the last year and a half, we’ve done our best to keep up, reviewing almost every new coffee shop in town while discovering an amazing community of coffee lovers in the process.
It’s been an all-around positive experience – until this week, that is, when we stepped foot inside the stark and somber chamber that is Stain Coffee.
Sandwiched between two disorderly storefronts about a five-minute walk from The Westin near Guangzhou East Railway Station, the shop’s all-white exterior gives it away immediately.
Why wanghong, or social media celebrities, flock to Stain for photo shoots is beyond us – the decor presumably took a grand total of 15 minutes to throw together.
It’s comprised of one sole chandelier on a table draped with a white sheet, and three wooden frames propped against a wall swathed in – you guessed it – another white sheet.
Think middle school students’ attempt to recreate The Phantom of the Opera set using items from a junk yard. Okay – a nice-ish junk yard. But that's it. That’s the decor.
When we inquired about the theme and/or concept of Stain, a part-time staff member simply shrugged and reiterated that she is "part-time." No one was available to speak on behalf of Stain, and the owner is apparently abroad indefinitely.
The Food
Don’t even bother taking out your wallet. No, the drinks aren’t that bad, but Stain only accepts WeChat Money or Alipay.
The menu is a combination of ‘blends’ (espresso, RMB20; Americano, RMB28; flat white, RMB30), ‘singles’ (fancy varieties like the ‘90+ Ethiopia Kemgin with orange candy, floral and ginseng,’ RMB42) and ‘specials’ (Stain mocha, RMB42; Einspanner, RMB38), the last of which caught our eye.
Einspänner coffee is actually a traditional Viennese concept, though Stain’s version feels closer to a Gong Cha cream-capped coffee. We say that because an authentic Einspänner (per our Google search) is made from two shots of espresso topped with whipped cream, while the drink we tried was an iced Americano (espresso mixed with water) topped with heavy cream – not whipped.
To Stain’s credit, it was still pretty tasty, though we would have preferred it served with a spoon so we could mix the cream with the coffee instead of gulping down an entire glob of sugar and then stomaching a bitter finish.
The Vibe
... It's not great. The aggressive pursuit of beautiful selfies drew some female customers to physically bump into us as they stretched their limbs every which way to find a more attractive angle.
No apologies were issued, but that wasn't too surprising given that very few words were exchanged in general the whole time we were there.
For what it’s worth, the baristas seemed quite friendly, and we wish they would take more initiative to promote casual conversation among customers. At least then we could escape the chilling sensation of stumbling into a dystopian void of vanity and bitterness.
Stain may have soiled the 'friendly coffee community’ vibe we had going in this city, but something tells us that unlike most stains, this one won’t be impossible to remove.
Price: RMB40
Who’s going: senseless selfie zombies, The Phantom himself
Good for: contemplating black holes and loneliness, coffee
Nearest metro: Linhe Xi (Exit A), 12 minutes
Open daily, 10am-7pm. See listing for Stain Coffee.
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