Interview: Comedian Paul Ogata Talks Dolphin Sex

By Matthew Bossons, April 30, 2016

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Having appeared on several high-profile comedy shows and channels, including Comedy Central and Showtime (among numerous others), Paul Ogata is no newbie when it comes to making people laugh. Hailing from Los Angeles, California, the 47-year-old comedian will be making his first-ever stop in Guangzhou this May – to charm and entertain at The Brew Bar & Bistro’s Panyu location. 

To find out more about Mr. Ogata, we chatted with him this week about his career, China, McDonalds and dolphin sex. Here is what he had to say:

First off, for people unfamiliar with you, give us a bit of background on your career as a stand-up comedian?

Hello, I am Paul Ogata, award-winning human comedian and part-time pornstar. I have been a joker all my life and professionally for 10 plus years. I've performed on TV and in movies, for heads of state, in a laundromat and even at a chemical weapons disposal facility.

Is this your first trip to mainland China?

I've been coming to perform in China for several years now, but this will be my first time in Guangzhou. Really looking forward to vomiting at Chimelong Paradise.

You have previously performed in Hong Kong, recording the stand-up album Paul Ogata Stands Up: Live in Hong Kong there in 2010. Tell us a bit about comedy for Chinese audiences in comparison to North American audiences?  

Oftentimes in China, maybe English isn't the audience's first language. Sometimes it isn't even their second language. One time in Suzhou it wasn't on their list of languages at all. Luckily, God gave me a face that is funny to look at.

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What can audiences expect at your Guangzhou show, at The Brew Panyu?

I would say, "Expect the unexpected." But then, when something does unexpectedly happen, people would be sitting there smugly thinking, "Pffft... Totally expected to not expect that to happen." So let me just say it will be like a boisterous tent revival and miraculous faith healing – but with dick jokes.

What’s the most money you’ve ever drunkenly spent at McDonald’s?

Woke up in my car one day after raging hard the night before. Checking my surroundings, there were three empty quarter pounder wrappers on the seat next to me and one half-eaten burger in my hand. Slowly, as I regained consciousness, I realized the other half of the burger was still in my mouth. I swallowed, as you do. Long story short? I was out USD12 in cash and much more in self-respect.

What do you think cats dream about?

Having thumbs.

Finally, and this one is a zinger, would you rather live off Cantonese-style chicken feet – for all three meals a day – for the rest of your life, or have to dream, in graphic detail, of bottlenose dolphins having sex every time you fall asleep?

Are they having sex with me? And is it consensual? Regular dreams of dolphin rape can't be fun, but it might be nice if I were having sex with them on porpoise.

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May 22, 8pm; RMB150 in advance, RMB250 at the door. The Brew Bar & Bistro (Panyu). Tickets can be purchased at all Guangzhou The Brew locations. 

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