'The 5 Great Jokes of Chinese History': prominent scholar lampoons his 'patriotic' colleagues

By Ryan Kilpatrick, April 20, 2015

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The following is a translation of a recent piece by well-known Chinese history writer Feng Xuerong. Feng, born in Yangjiang, Guangdong Province and now based in Hong Kong, is the author of several volumes on late Qing and early Republican history.

His take on the “Five Great Jokes of Chinese History,” lampooning the attitudes of many of his countrymen, has been shared widely since he uploaded it to his Weibo account earlier this month.

As a writer of history, I often find myself discussing the topic with my fellow countrymen. Of course, it’s impossible to avoid moments when tempers run high.

At first I thought that there must be a problem with the historical information people receive, but over time I came to realize that the problem isn’t just the reception of information but the very ways people think.

I’d like to take a little bit of time tonight to discuss this problem and, hopefully set a few things straight.

Joke #1: I can be anti-imperialist, but you can’t be independent

Lots of so-called cultured people in China, lovers of history, always raise the same two points whenever Mongolian independence is brought up: 1) the KMT government lost Outer Mongolia because it was powerless; and 2) Mao’s China was too reactionary and ended up supporting Mongolian nationhood.

An obvious premise underpins this opinion: that Mongolia has belonged to China since antiquity and that the Mongolian people’s declaration of independence was illegal.

In actuality, Mongolia was never Chinese territory until the Qing Dynasty (1644-1912), during which time it surrender and paid allegiance to the Qing Empire in fear of its military might.

In 1912, the Qing issued their “Imperial Abdication Edict,” transferring suzerainty over Outer Mongolia to the Republic of China. However, they never sought the opinion of the Outer Mongolian people, who clearly had the right to refuse. In other words, the Mongolian people have the right to be independence. There, I said it.

The overarching theme to modern Chinese history: oppose imperialism and save the nation, become independent and autonomous. Right? Absolutely. But whenever anyone touch upon the Mongolian people striving for independence, our “patriotic” youth immediately become hostile.

Why? Because our “patriotic” youth believe that only Chinese people can be independent. You Mongolians want independence too? Ha! Dream on.

I can oppose imperialism but you can’t be independent. The governor can set great fires but the common people can’t light their lanterns.

The Outer Mongolian people were Outer Mongolian people; then, they were Qing subjects. They were never Chinese. They have a right to decide not to be Chinese if they don’t want to. We’re all people and we should all be equal.

I can oppose imperialism but you can’t be independent – this is a double standard, the logic of the bandit.

We must face up to this problem otherwise, if we’re not careful, China itself could easily become expansionist. These “patriots” should take a look in the mirror when they get a chance. Doesn’t the person you see look like the Japanese devils you love to hate?

Joke #2: I can fight on your territory, but you can’t fight on mine

When researching the Opium Wars, it’s hard to avoid this question: was there anything inappropriate about Lin Zexu’s anti-opium measures?

If you try to ask this, however, “patriotic” historians will say with righteous indignation, “What is there to say? Britain sent troops to come here and kill. They were wrong and there can never be any justification for what they did. They were aggressors, invaders.”

Every time these voices emerge, no one dares contradict them. No matter what the reasoning, country A cannot send troops to country B, otherwise country A is the aggressor.

But then if you say, “according to your reasoning, China was the aggressor and invader when we sent troops into Vietnam in 1979.” This usually leaves them speechless and flustered.

As you can see, this “patriotic” reasoning sounds right but is in fact wrong. If it were right, China has been an aggressor many times. In 1918, the Beiyang government sent troops to Russia, fighting on other people’s territory. In 1950, we crossed the Yalu River and participated in the division of another nation. In 1979, we fought near the Vietnamese capital. In 1950 and 1979, we were met with a chorus of international condemnation. Don’t believe me? Look it up.

After the normalization of China-South Korea relations in 1992, journalists, asking China to apologize for encroaching on Korean territory in 1950, barraged our first ambassador to Seoul. In their eyes, we are invaders.

In 1979 we marched on Vietnam supposedly to help the common people, but the common people shot at us. Why? Because in their eyes, we were invaders – the “Northern Bandits,” they called us.

In modern history, China did indeed play the part of victim much of the time; but at some points, we were also the attacker – you just refuse to own up to it…. Don’t make the assumption that others are all jackals and wolves and we alone are angels.

Joke 3: What’s yours is mine, and has been since ancient times

When “patriotic” intellectuals talk about the problem of territorial sovereignty, their most commonly used phrase is “has belonged to China since antiquity.” What is antiquity? How far back do you have to go? For that matter, when does the idea of “China” come about?

Let’s take Taiwan as an example. Our “patriotic” youth love to say that “the island of Taiwan has belonged to China since antiquity.”

Only problem is, this is a lie.

It has been said that Sun Quan’s soldiers visited the island during the Three Kingdoms era, but this doesn’t prove it was a part of China. Marco Polo came to China – does this mean China has belonged to Italy since antiquity?

A “Penghu Inspectorate” was established in the Ming Dynasty, but this merely covered the Penghu archipelago and not the island of Taiwan itself. Chinese only really administered Taiwan starting from the reign of Kangxi (1661-1722).

Originally, the island belonged to its indigenous inhabitants, who established a tribal “Kingdom of Tatu.” Dutch colonists later arrived and established a government there; then, [Ming loyalist] Koxinga defeated them and took it. It was only after the Qing defeated Koxinga that Taiwan was incorporated into China.

Taiwan is a good example because it illustrates a clear but cruel historical fact: there is no piece of this planet that his always belonged to any country. For the entirety of its history, the Chinese people have been fighting to expand their territory, exterminating other nations that stood in their way: the Dali Kingdom, the Southern Yue, the Junggar, the Ba Kingdom. The list of nations destroyed by China is long; the country has continually been expanding violently. Every people and nation in the world is essentially selfish, and China is no exception.

Joke #4: I can bully you, but you can’t bully me

Our education system teaches children that China is a peace-loving nation consistently bullied by others.

Let me speak frankly for a moment: since the end years of the Qing Dynasty, China has already been on the road to imperialism. The only thing that’s kept it from realizing this ambition is internal disorder. Let me give a few examples:

  1. In 1882, the Qing realized there were more and more Japanese people in Korea, then a vassal state, challenging Beijing’s superior position over Korea. To strengthen their grip over the peninsula, the Qing requested that Korea sign an unequal treaty giving Chinese extraterritoriality in the country and establishing Chinese concessions Incheon, Pusan and Wonsan. At the same time, the Qing increased the number of soldiers garrisoned there. Extraterritoriality, concessions, garrisons… these are the classic hallmarks of an imperialist power – no different from that of Britain or Japan.
  2. In 1911, the Qing court sent a warship to Mexico after an anti-Chinese incident occurred there. Under the threat of violence the Mexican government issued an apology and paid an indemnity. When its expatriates are threatened, the country sends gunboats. How is this any different from the behavior of Britain and Japan in China?
  3. In 1917, the October Revolution took place in Russia and the imperialist Western powers sent troops to sabotage the new Soviet government. In 1918, the Beiyang government sent troops into Russian territory as well to join in on the Siberian Intervention.

Of course there is also one other historical incident we all know about: the First Sino-Japanese War. Despite what we’re taught, however, the war was not one of national self-defense: it was a struggle for control over the Korean peninsula. To the Koreans, it was a clash between two rival empires.

Japan controlling Korea is not right – but is the Qing controlling Korea any more right? At the time, international opinion even sided with Japan.

There are many more examples I could give. At the time, China was firmly in the imperialist camp… It’s not that Chinese haven’t wanted to be imperialist, but merely that they failed to do so owing to internal chaos. It’s not that there are no instances of Chinese bullying others, just ones you don’t know.

Joke #5: I’m always right, but I don’t know why

I once discussed the Diaoyu Islands issue with a taxi driver in Shenzhen. The driver said that the islands are China’s and he wants to kill everyone in “Little Japan.”

Half-joking, I asked him why they’re China’s. He paused for a moment and then answered: “Of course they’re China’s. Do you even have to ask?”

I continued to question him: “Really, I don’t know. Please tell me about it, I’m all ears.”

He went silent for a long time before finally answering: “I don’t why either, but they’re ours.” There’s nothing special about this answer. I’m sure if you asked the “patriotic” youth destroying Japanese cars, you’d get the same response from 99 percent of them.

Why do you believe that the money in your wallet is yours? Because it’s the wages you just got. You believe your apartment belongs to you because you used your money to buy it. You believe your spouse belongs to you because you both have a marriage certificate. If something belongs to you, you must be able to explain why, otherwise it doesn’t.

If you don’t know why something belongs to you and yet resolutely insist it is yours, this is a defect that needs fixing.

A hundred years ago when girls had their feet bound, if people had asked them why they had to have their feet bound they would’ve said that they doesn’t know. People around her just said it had to be done. If you asked Japanese 78 years ago why they were cheering on their countrymen as they invaded China, they would also say they didn’t know, but that “fighting for the country is right.”

Every reasonable human should know: If you don’t know why the Diaoyus belong to China, you should just keep your mouth closed. If it truly concerns you, then gather up all the historical material you can and look at all sides of the argument. If you still believe they’re China’s, then there’s nothing wrong with saying so. But if you adamantly declare it’s yours and yet can’t say why, you’ve simply become a bandit. 

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