Prince William to make solo China voyage in early 2015

By Erik Crouch, November 25, 2014

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The rumors are true! Prince William will be usurping David Beckham as China's most famous Briton (albeit briefly) sometime early next year. The Duchess, from the looks of things, however, is not likely to join him - she will be, as the BBC lovingly describes, "heavily pregnant."

William's travel plans were scooped by The Guardianwho frame the visit as part of a massive apology tour for, essentially, everything that the royal family has ever said about the Middle Kingdom.

This includes, but of course is not limited to, Prince Charles's writing that the Chinese leadership were "appalling old waxworks," as well as multiple royal visits with the Dalai Lama and, ever overflowing with Princely class, Philip's 1986 rejoinder to British students in Beijing, telling them that, "if you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed."

In other words, William has quite a bit of making up to do. We suggest he do the following while in China, as a means of apologizing for previous royal British screw-ups:

  • Compare the Great Wall favorably to Hadrian's
  • Travel exclusively in Shanghai's expensive (yet British) tuhao cabs
  • Say that Thames Town is "pretty much spot-on"
  • Tell British students, "if you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed, lucky you."

 

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