Dear Jamie is a regular series where our readers seek advice from Jamie, a Guangdong-based life coach.
Dear Jamie,
I’ve dated and beyond, but do you know what I realize after all? Men are abysmal! I don’t want to spend the rest of life dealing with their poppycock. But at times, I feel lonely and gloomy and I think to myself that I want a child – a mixed-race baby with a Spanish person, preferably. Is there a way to have a baby without being engaged in a relationship with a man?
-Lonely in Dongguan
Dear Lonely,
The 1998 crime comedy The Big Lebowski is an exercise in brilliant plotting, idiosyncratic characters and quotable lines. In one scene, incorrigible Vietnam vet Walter Sobchak argues that the severed toe they have received isn’t evidence that a kidnapping is real.
“You want a toe?” Walter says. “I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways… you don't wanna know about it."
The message being: there are ways, but they aren’t ideal. Your fatherless baby is like a severed toe.
There are ways – but lets not go into them.
Instead, the bigger question is ‘why?’
You want a child because you feel bad, but do you have evidence a child will fix that?
You name the absentee father’s ethnicity – as if your baby’s skin tone is a main concern. Sorry, but a child isn’t a fashion accessory.
To be blunt, you are being selfish by thinking of yourself first without considering the situation you want to bring a human life into.
But relax: Dr. Jamie has the four-legged prescription for you and you can even choose the color. Get a cat.
-Jamie
Got a pickle? E-mail Jamie for a solution sandwich at Jamieinchina@outlook.com.
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[Cover image via easyliving.my]
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