Gan’ga ai / gān’gà ái / 尴尬癌 lit. Awkwardness cancer; n. The feeling of being in an extremely embarrassing situation
A. I can’t watch the Spring Festival Gala anymore.
B. Why not?
A. Every year I have to sit and watch my parents laugh at Internet jokes from 2005. It’s so awkward that my entire body becomes paralyzed from gan’ga ai.
B. Yeah, you’ll be suffering from that until summer.
We all know those situations in which you feel so embarrassed that you just want to move away from civilization and into a cave. Like when your mother talks to your crush on Facebook, when your dad calls you “fam” in front of your friends, or when you mistake your new boss for the janitor and give him a tip.
But some things can be so cringeworthy that the muscles all over your body freeze. The feeling is so visceral that you can actually feel a heavy load sink in your stomach or a chill racing up your spine. Since the sensation is so physical – and there seems to be no cure for it – the Chinese Internet gave it a name: gan’ga ai, or ‘awkwardness cancer.’
Given that a little embarrassment never hurt anyone, you might wonder why Chinese people take it so seriously. Well, let me explain. In Chinese culture, the wellbeing and harmony of the group trumps that of any individual – it’s an absolute priority for all members of the ‘squad.’ This is only achieved if every member makes compromises and sacrifices for the collective good. And this takes time.
Take a Chinese dinner party, for example. If it starts at 6pm, there might be a couple of hours of self-deprecation, sincere compliments, ass-kissing and heavy drinking to build an environment where everyone feels comfortable. But all that work can be ruined by one misjudged comment or act, resulting in an evening plagued by the dreaded gan’ga ai.
Expert autopsies of gan’ga ai have concluded that it is a mixture of anxiety, social awkwardness, shame and guilt. People with deep capacity for empathy suffer from it the most, because they feel embarrassed not only for themselves, but for those around them. When they see a bad movie, they feel embarrassed for the director. When they watch the US presidential debate, they feel embarrassed for the candidates. When their date squirts mustard all over his shirt, they suffer from gan’ga ai for the rest of the evening.
Like real cancer, we’re still searching for the cure for gan’ga ai, though we know that a thick skin boosts immunity. So now you know: When your Chinese friends look pained when you speak bad Chinese, it’s because their health is at risk.
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