Some crazy sh*t coming out of Russia, as former Soviet agent Igor Atamanenko says he has found evidence that Joseph Stalin
spied on Mao Zedong by analyzing his excrement, using it to construct
a psychological portrait of his Commie counterpart.
And that what he discovered in Zedong's dung was not to his liking...
Atamanenko claims to have
uncovered the unusual project while doing research in the archives of
the Russian secret services, according to the BBC. Frustrated by inadequate listening devices in the 1940s, Stalin's secret
police set up a special department to get its hands on foreign leaders' stools, "the most extravagant ways of extracting information about a person."
And what would this poop-scooping tell them of a person's character?
"If they detected high levels of amino acid Tryptophan, they concluded that person was calm and approachable," Atamanenko told Russian newspapers. "But a lack of potassium in poo was seen as a sign of a nervous disposition and someone with insomnia."
Atamanenko claims that in December 1949, Soviet spies used the system
to evaluate Mao Zedong, who was on a visit to Moscow.
They allegedly installed special toilets for Mao, which were
connected not to sewers, but to secret boxes. For ten days, the Chinese leader was
plied with food and drink while his stools were taken away for
analysis.
Lavrenti Beria was put in charge of the secret laboratory, and once Mao's stools had been thoroughly scrutinized, the results were passed onto Stalin, who reportedly poo poo-ed the idea of signing an agreement with Mao.
For what it's worth, Mao supposedly felt captive when he arrived in Moscow. Convinced that Stalin had bugged the house he was staying in, he was said to have shouted at the walls, "I am here to do more than eat and shit."
According to Komsomolskaya Pravda, one of Russia's most popular newspapers, Stalin's successor, Nikita Khrushchev, scrapped the project and closed the laboratory shortly thereafter.
Disappointingly, what the Russians discovered about Mao was never made available, which is a bunch of BS if you ask us.
[Image via www.stalinsociety.org]
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