Finally a horoscope that understands your life in Beijing.
Leo
7.23-8.23
Finally it’s your time to shine. Throw a massive party at your favorite Wangfujing hotel, invite your entire WeChat friends list and ugly cry when only two-thirds of them show up. Livestream the entire drama.
Virgo
8.24-9.23
It’s going to be a messy month – emotionally that is. You are likely to burst into tears for no reason at Wedome. If this concerns you, cut the porkfloss buns for breakfast and try jianbing instead.
Libra
9.24-10.23
You are feeling extra carefree thanks to Jupiter’s presence somewhere in your chart. Indulge your inner child by visiting that new pinball bar or going to Happy Valley – but avoid the rollercoaster at all costs.
Scorpio
10.24-11.22
This is the cheeriest month you will experience all year. Attend every hutong rooftop party, as you will genuinely enjoy talking to others (unlike next month, when you will struggle to remember why).
Sagittarius
11.23-12.21
You will suffer social media fatigue. Don’t be ashamed, it happens to the best of the signs. Reach out to friends. Take a long walk in Ritan Park and try really hard not to Instagram the moment.
Capricorn
12.22-1.20
You may encounter a monetary windfall this month. Try asking your laoban for a raise or playing the Chinese lottery. Donate your winnings to a local charity like Roundabout.
Aquarius
1.21-2.19
Family takes focus. When was the last time you FaceTimed your parents? Don’t blame your crappy VPN service; blame your lack of filial piety. Take it too far and buy them return tickets to Beijing.
Pisces
2.20-3.20
It may be August, but it’s never too late to make good on all those Chinese New Year resolutions. Create that ‘Beijing Mystics Club’ you always wanted to or take language classes at BLCU. Fulfillment awaits.
Aries
3.21-4.20
‘Work hard, play hard’ may be your motto but try taking it easy this month. The stars say you should turn off your WeChat notifications and swap Sir Teen for Blue Note.
Taurus
4.21-5.21
Be wary of strangers – especially that person on Line 4 who asks whether you’d like to become a foreign assistant to a Chinese CEO. Give the opportunity a hard pass.
Gemini
5.22-6.21
The most important relationship this month is the one you have with yourself – both of yourselves. Treat yourself to a Chinese Valentines Day dinner at TRB and go crazy with Tmall Qixi deals. Feel regret afterwards.
Cancer
6.22-7.22
Both your financial and bodily affairs require attention. Cash in all your member points around town (especially Wagas – your points here will expire this month) and blow your salary on an expensive gym membership in the CBD.
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