If you’ve never been to Bangkok’s Khaosan Road – don’t. Unless, that is, you hope to witness the last wisp of a bohemian dream being sucked through a beer tower, forced against a wall, and then shot in the back of the head with a ping-pong ball fired from a vagina. There’s more culture in yogurt.
Beijing has, mercifully, sheltered itself from such embarrassing interpretations of debauchery. By virtue of being landlocked (and bound by enforced laws), our city appeals to neither sunburned Englishmen in wife-beaters nor those Americans who make irritating whooping noises. Sanlitun Bar Street is the closest we’ve come to a northern stop on the Banana Pancake Trail. But it’s all rather civilized in comparison.
Nonetheless, if Thai-themed Soi Baochao had been located anywhere near Beijing’s own mini-Khaosan, it would have become instantly detestable. Bars serving alcohol in buckets are veritable moron magnets. Yet, here in the quiet northern reaches of Gulou’s Baochao Hutong, there’s something almost quaint about the idea.
If one is surrounded by harmless hipster types (rather than multiple varieties of ‘bro’), is there anything wrong with drinking through straws from a large plastic receptacle? We would argue not. We would even say that, at RMB80 for a bucket of spirit-plus-mixer, it is a superbly economical way to get drunk.
The bar’s manager, Van, is a generous free-pourer. As he holds an upturned spirit bottle aloft for an unconscionably long period of time, we address a technicality. Soi is the Thai word for a side street branching off a larger one. Road-naming custom dictates that this hutong should actually be called ‘Soi Gulou Dongdajie.’ Or – given how far up Baochao it is – ‘Soi North Second Ring Road.’ Catchy.
Van is still pouring, so there’s time for another quick clarification: this isn’t a new bar. Formally known as Cangku (unpronounceable for foreigners, apparently), Soi Baochao is actually celebrating its seventh anniversary this month. We were simply lured in by its new name.
Phucket. It is only fair to give venues time to settle before review. Plus, we’re already here and the bucket is finally filled – almost entirely with rum. We take it for a stroll through the premises.
The bar’s ground floor has something of a grungy, rock club vibe. There’s an arcade machine and tables of the foosball and pool varieties. Sure, we find a big Thai flag and the bar’s name appears in luminescent blue, all Thai-alphabet-style. But Soi Baochao isn’t pushing the theme too hard.
Upstairs lies the real treat. Amid the roof’s beams and slopes, four cozy sofa areas await intrepid bucket-slurpers. With its low lighting and fabric partitions, the upper floor is exactly the sort of lo-fi drinking spot that Gulou excels in providing. Perhaps this is what Khaosan Road looked like before the idiots arrived.
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